A Shot In The Dark

Ella arrives and, almost immediately, I have my first encounter with a man with a machine gun. It seems as if removing all breakables from my flat was nowhere near enough.

I was showing her the Christmas lights along Orchard Road which also houses the Presidential palace. The gateway to the palace is set back about 20 metres from the edge of the road. Ella decided she wanted to go up to the entrance and take a photo of the railings. I advised her against this:

“Don’t go up there and take a photo.”
“Why not?” she asked.
“You can’t take photos of government buildings these days.”
“Why not?” she asked.
“They’ll think you’re a spy casing the joint.”
“Don’t be so ridiculous,” she laughed.
“Or a terrorist,” I added. “You can’t be too careful these days. Everyone’s so suspicious.”
“Come on,” she insisted, “don’t be so stupid.”

She went right up to the railings. I stood about 10 metres away from them in the darkness. I was also 10 metres from the road. I was in no man’s land.

Five seconds later, I was blinded by two huge spotlights that suddenly illuminated the entire driveway.

“You!” I heard a voice cry, just as Ella’s flash went off. Out of the gatehouse came two men dressed in extremely tight uniforms bearing machine guns. Obviously utterly terrified, I put my hands up and sank to my knees, but was relieved to see that they were actually talking to Ella. I quickly got up again and repaired to a safe distance.

“No photos!” one of them told her.
“I was just taking a photo of the railings,” she responded, to my incredulity.
“No photos of railings!” the other barked.

I had visions of them ripping the back of her camera off and tearing out her film like they always do in the movies.

“Sorry!” she bugled, and skipped back towards the pavement where I was waiting. Putting on my best teacher voice, I asked that age old rhetorical question:
“What did I tell you?”
Laughing at me, she replied,
“I got my photo, didn’t I?”

The first of what I am sure will be many, many brushes with the authorities over the next few months.

________________________________________________________

On an unrelated note, best wishes to Jonny, who has fractured his skull playing football. Although he says it's not that serious it certainly sounds pretty serious to me. When I used to play I always used to look the other way when the ball came near me in the air, thus avoiding the need to go for any aerial challenges. Perhaps you might consider this approach from now on, Jonny? Get well soon, and good luck to the team in his absence.