The Weakest Link
Livid.
First of all, I was teaching my Year 11 class yesterday and towards the end of the lesson, the class somehow managed to steer the conversation round to my nickname.
I’ve had some bizarre nicknames in the past, some of them from students and some from friends. Porch, Rod and Tod, Smithers, Hanks, Superman (because I look like Clark Kent, apparently), Canoe Foot… the list goes on.
Yesterday, however, I learnt that my new nickname is Harry Potter.
I’m distraught. For a start, I’m not a fan. Stupid, boring story for geeks. Secondly, I look nothing like him.
After being told this by my class, my face immediately dropped. Some of the kinder students said things like, “It’s only cos you teach English…” before finally one said, “And you look a bit like him.”
At break, like an idiot, I told my head of department. He was amused.
“Do you think they say things like, ‘We’ve got Potter next…’ when they’ve got a lesson with you?” he asked.
I shuddered at the thought. I explained why I was upset by this. I don’t have a centre parting. I don’t have any parting. I’m not a drippy dweeb. I’m cool… right?
By lunch time, somehow, the rest of the department knew. I came out of my lesson to a chorus of, “Here’s Harry!”
They already had plans for me to play Potter at the school Christmas panto.
That evening we went out for drinks as a department for the first time. This allowed them to continue to find original new ways to insult me by using my new nickname.
For example, when I was ten minutes late turning up:
“So, did your game of Quidditch go into overtime?”
I didn’t get it. I’ve not read the stupid books. Apparently, Quidditch is some stupid broomstick game Potter plays.
One asked me, “How did you get here?”
“Bus,” I replied.
“Why, is Nimbus 2000 in for repairs?”
I didn’t get it. I’ve not read the stupid books. Apparently, Nimbus 2000 is Potter’s stupid broomstick.
Finally, my head of department’s parting shot at the end of the night was,
“What a wizard evening!”
I missed my regular quiz night for this. As you may have read, my team consistently finishes third. Tonight, of course, in my absence, they won.
First of all, I was teaching my Year 11 class yesterday and towards the end of the lesson, the class somehow managed to steer the conversation round to my nickname.
I’ve had some bizarre nicknames in the past, some of them from students and some from friends. Porch, Rod and Tod, Smithers, Hanks, Superman (because I look like Clark Kent, apparently), Canoe Foot… the list goes on.
Yesterday, however, I learnt that my new nickname is Harry Potter.
I’m distraught. For a start, I’m not a fan. Stupid, boring story for geeks. Secondly, I look nothing like him.
After being told this by my class, my face immediately dropped. Some of the kinder students said things like, “It’s only cos you teach English…” before finally one said, “And you look a bit like him.”
At break, like an idiot, I told my head of department. He was amused.
“Do you think they say things like, ‘We’ve got Potter next…’ when they’ve got a lesson with you?” he asked.
I shuddered at the thought. I explained why I was upset by this. I don’t have a centre parting. I don’t have any parting. I’m not a drippy dweeb. I’m cool… right?
By lunch time, somehow, the rest of the department knew. I came out of my lesson to a chorus of, “Here’s Harry!”
They already had plans for me to play Potter at the school Christmas panto.
That evening we went out for drinks as a department for the first time. This allowed them to continue to find original new ways to insult me by using my new nickname.
For example, when I was ten minutes late turning up:
“So, did your game of Quidditch go into overtime?”
I didn’t get it. I’ve not read the stupid books. Apparently, Quidditch is some stupid broomstick game Potter plays.
One asked me, “How did you get here?”
“Bus,” I replied.
“Why, is Nimbus 2000 in for repairs?”
I didn’t get it. I’ve not read the stupid books. Apparently, Nimbus 2000 is Potter’s stupid broomstick.
Finally, my head of department’s parting shot at the end of the night was,
“What a wizard evening!”
I missed my regular quiz night for this. As you may have read, my team consistently finishes third. Tonight, of course, in my absence, they won.
posted by Me @ 11:55 am
9 Comments:
At 5:23 pm,
Teresa Bowman said…
I think it's a fact of modern life that ANY bloke who wears glasses gets told he looks like Harry Potter. Because he wears glasses, and, you know, everybody who wears glasses looks the same, right?
This just goes to show how little imagination people have these days.
At 5:45 pm,
Anonymous said…
Whilst teaching in Korea I was constantly suprised by my students claims that I looked exactly like Mr Bean and that the other English bloke (who had blonde hair) looked like Brad Pitt
Go figure!
At 5:45 pm,
Anonymous said…
^ Bat
At 5:46 pm,
Anonymous said…
^ Bat
At 5:53 pm,
LB said…
English + glasses - Harry Potter. Fact.
It could have been worse, after I got the Harry Potter for a while (as I am English and wear glasses) I then had to go through weeks of being told I look like Wally out of the "Where's Wally?" books.
and you're right, I got half way through the first book and thought it was a load of old toss.
At 8:43 pm,
Me said…
First of all, thanks Joe, I'd forgotten about being called The Hooded Claw. How could I have been so remiss? Thanks for reminding me and informing everyone. By the way, Joe looks like Higgins from Magnum.
2nd, Serena, you're right - school kids have no imagination these days. When I was at school...
Actually, when I was at school everyone used obvious nicknames too, thinking about it. Except when nicknaming me. Hence Canoe Foot. I had big feet, you see.
Bat - I'd never thought of likening you to Mr Bean before. Why, I don't know.
Lord Bargain - It reassures me to hear that I'm not the only one to have gone through this travesty. And, at 6 foot 6, I'm sure people wouldn't have had trouble spotting you in a crowd as Where's Wally either.
At 4:37 pm,
Me said…
How could I forget "Da Engine"? None of these nicknames have really stuck, though. Potter, however, is already proving too popular. My colleagues all said "Morning Harry" to me this morning.
At 4:54 pm,
Me said…
Once again... how could I forget?
At 9:29 pm,
thomkat said…
Does this make you feel any better?
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