Meet The Parents

I’ve always had a bit of a funny relationship with Parents’ Evenings. The first five appointments are usually torture – I’m nervous and don’t really know how to say what I want to say (and I’ve tried making notes and I’ve tried not making notes – same result). Then I warm up, and end up flying through the rest, managing to sound insightful and knowledgeable, but deeply embarrassed about my poor early showing.

Tonight was the first one at my new school - for sixth form. The pressure I was feeling was doubled because my head of department was with me for the first appointment as we both teach the student.

As they sat down there was silence for a moment. It was technically my appointment, so I realised I had to start things off.

“How do you think you’re getting on then?” I asked the student inspiringly. “You know, with the leap from GCSE to A Level?”
“Ok,” the student replied.
“So you think you’re coping with the leap well?”

I illustrated “the leap” with a hand gesture that was meant to resemble a horse leaping over a fence.

“I think so,” she replied.

There was nothing else for it. I had to say what I thought. I started off by saying how articulate she is in lessons (although she didn’t seem to be providing much evidence of this tonight), then, within about 40 seconds, whistled through essay writing, punctuation, knowledge and understanding, reading round the course and attitude.

By this time I could feel myself going bright red. Part of me was wondering what I was going to say next, and part of me was wondering what my head of department must be thinking. I finished off with an indecisive:

“So… I think you’re coping with the leap too… and I think…”

I felt like a dog in the burning midday sun who’s just been chasing its tail for three hours and was now lying on its side with its tongue hanging out. Parent and student looked at me as if I was that dog. In desperation I turned to my colleague and grunted:

“Do you…?”

He took his cue. He paused, narrowed his eyes, looked at the student and said,
“You’ll get an A.”

Five seconds later they were gone.

For the rest of the evening, after asking the students to talk, I paused, narrowed my eyes and told them what grade I thought they’d get.

It seems to work.

Unless I can be bothered to try to find an Internet cafe in Sri Lanka this may be my last entry for about a week as mid-term break (half term) starts tomorrow.

Enjoy the break.