Fools Die For Want Of Wisdom

Almost a year ago to the day, I was in hospital having a knee ligament reconstruction. Look back at my June 2006 archives: it’s all there. I’ve just read it back and can’t believe what high spirits I was in.

On Tuesday, I was back in hospital again for another operation. This time: wisdom teeth extraction. All four of them.

I quite liked the whole anaesthetic thing last time, but this time I woke up thinking that there was a chance I was going to be sick. That’s probably because I had two gauze swabs soaking up the blood and dangling from my mouth like tendrils. Straight after I was woken up, I reached for my mouth to take out the gauze swabs, thinking that they were pieces of chewing gum I’d left in my mouth. The nurse told me to leave them where they were. After a couple more attempts to remove the chewing gum, I gradually became aware that my jaw was feeling a bit tender and that I should probably do what she told me to do.

It was only day surgery this time, so I was home about 3 hours after waking up. No fun hospital stories this time, I’m afraid.

Nothing much exciting has happened since. I’ve had the last 3 days off work because my gums are still bleeding and my face looks strange. No doubt you can guess what I look like. Take your pick:
I look like a chipmunk
I look moonfaced
I look like the Fat Controller
I look like Sophie Ellis Bextor
I look like Jay Leno.



Ella’s made me lots of really great soup and I’ve been eating ice cream too.

During the first day and a half I read A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. It’s not as good as The Kite Runner, but it’s still very good.

I’m now reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. I am loving every second of this book. It’s made me laugh out loud a few times, which books hardly ever do for me. It’s also one of the most moving books I’ve ever read. I keep putting it down to do something else, either because I’m moved, or because I don’t want to finish it. I’ve never done that before with a book. What’s wrong with me?

Anyway, read the book. It’s dazzling, heartbreaking and beautiful.

They’re showing one Star Wars film per night on one of the movie channels here. The first night it was the unwatchable Episode 2, which I was sure I’d seen before, but only bits of it seemed familiar. I watched it until I realised that it was unwatchable, then went to bed. Which is probably what happened last time. Last night it was Episode 3, which I love, even though it’s a bit silly in places. It surely contains the most exciting and eagerly anticipated moment in cinematic history: Darth Vader’s mask descending and attaching to his face for the first time, then that first breath being taken. Spine-tingling stuff.

Then there’s the funniest moment in Star Wars history: Darth Vader’s first few steps, crying “Noooooooooooo!” in a very un-Darth Vader-ish way. Cringeworthy.

Tonight it’s Episode 4. Classic.

Despite the joys of soup, reading books and watching Star Wars, it’s no fun having all four wisdom teeth out at once. Even though it doesn’t really hurt, it’s uncomfortable. I can feel the stitches in my mouth – they seem to thread from my gums to the sides of my mouth, for some reason. There’s a tangle of cotton or whatever it is in my mouth. Either that or it’s some bread. I’m not brave enough to get my finger in there and find out in case I pull stitches out. It’s also no fun having to go and spit blood down the toilet every twenty minutes or so.

Still, it could be a lot worse. That’s enough moaning.

But it is really annoying that wisdom teeth are completely unnecessary.

At least, I hope so.