Swede Or Turnip?

It’s good to get a win under the belts, but England’s win against Paraguay has punctured the optimism I had been allowing to build up following the victories against Hungary and Jamaica, and more importantly after noting Sven’s cavalier demeanour in interviews over the last few weeks. I thought things might be different. Yesterday told me that England won’t win this World Cup, and it’s all because the manager persists in trying to fit square pegs in round holes.

Sadly, Sven has done most of his managing in Italy. He therefore manages as if he’s managing an Italian team. If we nose in front, there’s only one thing that we should do in his mind: defend the lead.

This is his third major tournament in charge and he still hasn’t realised that we don’t know how to do that. That’s not how we play in England. I thought he’d learnt that from the defeats against Brazil and Portugal in the last two tournaments and all those Premiership games he turns up at.

Sven has brought the young, fresh talents of Walcott and Lennon with him. Their selection in the squad was un-Svenlike, and was another of the reasons why I thought he might go out in style. The Paraguay game was a perfect opportunity to bring one, or both of them, on and keep the opposition on the back foot. What did Sven do? He brought on Downing, who isn’t a bad player, but is unlikely to change the game. Downing played two beautiful long passes, but they were both lateral balls from the left touchline to the right. He ran quickly, but then didn’t know what to do with the ball once he reached the penalty area.

As for Roger Hargreaves… does anybody anywhere understand why he’s in the squad? Did he do anything when he came on? Are these two the 12th and 13th best players in England?

Perhaps Joe Cole was injured, but he was our best player and I was shocked that he was taken off. I’m astonished to find myself admitting that Crouch was our second best player. I’m actually thinking that Crouch and Rooney would be a better combination than the invisible Owen and Rooney. Those slow-motion replays of the ball hitting Crouch in the face provided some rare moments of amusement, too. Perhaps Owen just needs a little more time. There's not much left, mind.

So, all my hopes that we’d see a cavalier, exciting, bullish, attacking, English England in this World Cup were deflated by Sven’s insipid substitutions in the second half. What’s astonishing is that there isn’t a single pundit, amateur or professional, who agrees with him, or can understand what he’s doing. What was the point in picking those young lads and creating all the hype if he’s not going to take a look at them? Do we really need to close down a game against Paraguay and therefore risk drawing it?

Sometimes I wonder whether maybe Sven’s plan is to use Walcott and Lennon if we’re losing. But when I think back to England v Brazil four years ago when England were 2-1 down, with Brazil down to 10 men, I remember that Sven brought Phil Neville on.

We won’t beat a good team playing like that. We won’t beat a good team if we don’t play to our strengths. We won’t beat a good team if we try to sit on a slender lead. What I don’t understand is how our coach hasn’t worked that out yet when everyone else has.