The Rules Of Bargaining

On the beach, barely ten minutes went by without someone strolling past with a bag full of souvenirs, clothes, cigarettes or jewellery to sell. One chap even had a monkey on his back (literally) and a snake draped over his shoulder. I think he wanted to give some kind of show. We tended to look as if we were just about to leave the beach whenever he approached.

One guy was particularly entertaining. He carried a large wooden display hanger full of necklaces. We’d seen and heard him a few times before our last day on the beach, and, when he approached us that day, he had a song for us. In a deep voice, very slowly, grinning widely, he sang, in monotone, apart from the last syllable which he pitched up a semi-tone:

“Vould you like to come bargain wid me?
Come and see my lovely necklaces!
Offer me a price and we’ll do some bargaining!”

One of my companions could no longer resist.

“How much?” she asked.
“400, but you have to bargain with me,” he replied.
“Ok… 350,” she offered.
“No, no, no!” he exclaimed. “You have to go much lower than that.”
“300?” she asked, tentatively.

He rolled his eyes in mock disgust.

“How much should I pay then?” she asked. “What’s a fair price?
“250,” he replied. “Start again.”

“Ok,” my companion said. “How much for that necklace?”
“400,” he replied emphatically.
“250?” she offered.
“NO!” he shouted, a benevolent smile creasing his face. “You getting it all wrong. You have to start lower. You have to bargain wid me to get to fair price. Start again.”

“Right,” she said. “How much for that necklace?”
“400,” he replied forcefully.
“200?” she offered.
“300,” he responded.
"245?" she offered mischievously.
"255," he barked back, not missing a stroke.
“250,” she said, “last price.”

He handed over the necklace with another broad smile.